The Wind Against My Back
by proudmaxfan
Summary: Based off the part in the book. Hollom has an affair with the Gunner's wife and pays dearly for it. What if he had his own wife waiting at home for him? One-shot.


He had promised to never leave my side.

He had promised to love me in sickness and in health.

But most importantly, he promised never to deceive me.

And deceive he did.

That was the news I received from the captain of his fleet, while I stood shaking with emotion and tears.

He had betrayed me. My biggest fear had happened to me.

And what was worse, two people had been made a fool.

The tears came anew with every thought as my feet carried me as quickly as they could to the quaint home that we had bought with his small salary. We had purchased it in hope that when he returned I would be here to receive him home again.

I stopped dead in my tracks as that thought crossed my mind. He wasn't here, and he would never return. I would never see his face again. His body was in the middle of the ocean next to that…that…

I grunted in a frustrated manner. I couldn't even finish the thought as the anger rose in my nerves. I couldn't even think of her, without my blood boiling.

How could he have done that? How could _she_?

My fists clenched, so tight my knuckles were white and I could feel my fingernails digging into the skin, possibly breaking it.

The tears now felt hot on my cheeks, expressing my pure irritation as I ran the following steps to the entryway of the little house.

I flung the creaky door open, so hard it nearly came off at the hinges, and then slamming it back so roughly I thought surely I had broken the fame. I stormed past the sitting room, kitchen and dinning room into the small bedroom, noticing the slam of the door had rearranged the photos for me.

My trembling body collapsed onto the bed, causing the mattress to jump.

The tears that rolled like a raging river soaked the bed sheets. The tears were, at first, tears of rage, of anger, of fury. But after hours of them pouring from my eyes they turned to lonely, pathetic tears.

My mind wandered the reasons of his actions.

What had I done wrong to him?

Had I not been good enough for him?

Was I not physically beautiful to him?

Was I not graceful enough?

Was I too untamed?

Was I _too_ tamed?

My emotions changed again as I thought of if it was even my fault. It could have been the fact of being so secluded from everything he knew and everyone he loved.

That was it, I decided silently to myself with renewed confidence. There was no other woman on board. The whole crew must have lusted after her. That was the answer to my question. That was what had driven him to madness.

But soon after, my thoughts turned bitter again. That was no excuse to do anything to disturb God's law. My blood began to boil once more.

I stood up roughly, taking the ring on my finger and ripping it off aggressively. As I watched it fly across the room, I let out an irritated scream, a scream that reminded myself of a mad woman. Somehow the scream allowed me to release my frustration, though not entirely.

I sobbed violently and slumped to the floor in a ball of disarray. Sleep gripped its fists around my weak body and my weeping ceased for a time.

I awoke hours later, the room dark, and the sun gone from the sky. My eyes were still red and swollen, and my cheeks were still wet. I undressed myself slowly and placed my dressing gown over my linens.

The suffocating room seemed to push me out of its door, and I walked out to the street. There I stood, in nothing more than a morning-robe, staring at the stars.

The wind kicked up and blew my tousled hair into my face. Somehow the feeling of comfort swept through me. An emotion I welcomed warmly from the dreary sentiments I had felt lately.

Suddenly I felt his arms around me once more, felt his hand holding my cheek, wiping the tears away into oblivion.

But as soon as the sensation came, it was gone, the wind calming.

It was at that point I knew that wherever he was, below or above, he was smiling upon me in my miserable state, whispering how sorry he was. Sorry for not being there. Sorry for what he had done.

I looked towards the heavens and smiled, knowing that he saw me.

"Hollom," I whispered to the sky and it's winds and stepped back inside.

I felt the wind against my back as I shut the door, and knew without fail that I would never forget him, and I would always love him above all the others.


End file.
